If there exists a “New York of Australia”, is it Sydney or Melbourne?

The people of Sydney seem more rush rush then Melbourne & often less friendly (but in all cities inc NYC, once you are a regular customer & they know you, friendly).

Despite Melbourne’s high population growth & several new skyscrapers much taller than Sydney’s on a recent trip to Sydney I saw crowds on the trains, trams & streets I have never seen before in Australia, not even during the Sydney Olympic Games of 2000. The Sydney Vivid festival was on & places like Circular Quay was shoulder to shoulder. They even stopped the trains as with no platform screen doors, the risk of people falling onto the tracks was too great (trains hurt in any country).

The character of all 3 cities & climate is quite different. The only city a bit similar in feel is Adelaide, a bit like a small Melbourne.

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Born in Melbourne, lived in Adelaide from 12. Working in 1981 & took the train to Melbourne. I thought I was in NYC. How can people live here, throngs of people & traffic everywhere.

Only Melbourne & Sydney have anything like the intensity of big World city.

Along with Sydney high capacity double deck trains + the new single deck driverless metro train service & the light rail, heavily used, after decades of no trams, shows Sydney is not stagnating, far from it.

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Part of what makes a big city are huge old grand buildings from the 19th or early 20th Century, though in both Sydney, Melbourne & NYC some have been lost. Like Pen Station. Anthony Hordons Emporium in Sydney, though Queen Victoria Building was saved. Flinders Street Station facade, would have to be the longest old building in Australia.

OH & the old movies & NYC. I love the original Taking Of Pelham 123, very grotty & very different to today (in any city). Australian cities too were also a bit grotty (though generally safe). In fact when I first took the train back to Melbourne in 1981 aged 18, I was shocked, MY GOD IS THIS WHERE I’M FROM? Heavy industry, huge old run down red brick (almost black, with grime) wherehouses, station signs streaked with rust & the station covered in soot & brake dust, miles of weed infested rail yards with freight & passenger rolling stock looking ready for the scrap yards, train wheels, brake blocks sleepers, rails everywhere as we made our way in.

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I don’t think any of these cities is that much like each other. Sydney CBD is long and narrow, like Manhattan & there isn’t space to spare. Yet just 20 years ago there were fast empty lots where development never went ahead & the lot remained empty for many years, sometimes 20 years. Unfortunatly Anthony Hordon’s was one of them. A huge 1906 building, that would have been gigantic even by London or NYC standards, replaced by a hole in the ground for 20 years. Now you have anonymous looking hi rise there. But there are great shops restaurants & cafes in the complex & THAT REALLY SHOWS HOW AUSTRALIA HAS CHANGED! From a 1906 department store, very rundown & converted to government offices (why did the carpets in these poorly converted government offices usually stink?).

So a train journey into Melbourne from the west would look much tidier & more up to date than the 1980s.

Adelaide was a reasonable sized place in the early 1900s. But go to Melbourne & look at the many big old buildings, it was much bigger. Sydney a bit bigger still, but big cities like NY or London were something else. like 6 million people lived there in 1920 (which was the case).

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But back then these Australian cities had less than that together.

Moved back to Melbourne years ago, if I went back to the 1980s now. Melbourne would seem quiet, where is everybody & far less cultually diverse, almost every face white European back then.

Big World Cities like NYC, London, Moscow etc still have a higher population far more intensive urban rail systems & are considerably more intensive, but in say, 1980 or even 1990, Melbourne & Sydney were not in the same league. 1980 about 3 million people in Melbourne, 3.5 in Sydney. Today both would have well over 5 million marching around stuffing their faces. (“Mmm, great stuffing too”)

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

Now, when I look back at the silly (but funny) Crocodile Dundee movie it seems so quant & dated. 7 million in NYC? WOW! not much more than Melbourne & Sydney today.

So now when I see 70s & 80s movies showing the crowds in NYC, I think how quant, it’s now like that here. In reality, even a 1.4 million people city like Adelaide can have crowds & traffic jams at times.

& today NYC or any other really big city has far more people in a smaller aria & the whole urban, suburban arias of the biggest cities (inc NYC) has close to or even more than Australia’s entire population. There is nothing even close to the size Co Op City or Styvasant Town in Australia, let alone many miles from a city’s downtown.

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However in the last 30 years, especially the last 20. Sydney and Melbourne have grown very rapidly.

It’s still like that a bit today, but far more new heavy industry, Dozens upon dozens of shipping containers cranes for them, making Melbourne seem thriving rather than a place in decline. Along with new apartment hi rise in the inner suburbs, like Footscray. With few exeptions hi rise outside the small downtown arias of Australia’s cities was rare in the 1970s.

UPDATE AT END!

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